I think this is what they mean when they talk about melancholia - it feels like all the joy has been sucked out of my life, all the things I've achieved over the last four years mean nothing because I'm not exactly where I had planned to be, and I feel like chucking the whole thing in. Or maybe I've been attacked by a dementor. Either way, it was hard to get out of bed this morning, and hard to really do anything without whingeing about it. Here's hoping it doesn't last, because if it does there will be some serious anti-depressants in order.
My songs are too low, my career is too far away, my job is draining the soul out of me and causing me no end of bad karma. The boys in my life keep disappointing me, and I wish there was something more to my life than theatre. Time to join a surf club and go dancing again. Dust off the never-played-so-technically-still-brand-new saxophone and get my jazz back. How did I get here? One blow-off from a not very important boy and all the good work I've done on loving myself falls apart... You know things are bad when champagne in the sunshine doesn't help. Scott Alan??? Here's hoping. Wish me luck xx
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